I killed him with love: Ode to a mouse
by
Betsy Mars
I socked him away,
safe from escape,
with warmth
to the touch
and softness -
smelling of mouse
pellets and hay.
Like
a lucky rabbit foot
to stroke in the night
when demons came
calling for me, he
comforted,
but I slept right through
to the mourning
He was cold
and hard to the touch.
In my guilt, I emptied
the sock and left him
rigid in the cage,
To be discovered
and buried,
along with my memory
of inadvertent,
mindless murder.
At eight years old,
I learned that love could be lethal.
* *
* * *
"I killed him with love: Ode to a mouse"
was first published by Cadence Collective and is also in Betsy Mars's new 2019 collection Alinea.
Betsy
Mars is a southern California poet who is in a perpetual battle with change –
finally coming to some kind of a truce, and at times even love and acceptance.
She is an educator, mother, animal lover, and over-excited traveler. Her poetry
has been published in a number of places, both online and in print, most
recently in Sheila-Na-Gig, The Ekphrastic
Review, and Red Wolf Journal. Writing
has given her a means to explore her preoccupation with mortality and her
evolving sense of self.
Sadly sweet
ReplyDeleteThank you. It still breaks my heart.
DeleteSuch guilt in
ReplyDelete"buried,
along with my memory
of inadvertent, mindless murder"
A deft admission of the little cruelties and secrets we all carry with us. Very moving.
Thank you! I just read it again, and it brings the guilt and sadness back with such immediacy. As many times as I have read it, I am still mentally editing it. Is "inadvertent" redundant? I really appreciate your kind comments.
Delete