I’ll Try Anything, Once

by Gabby Schenkelberg

Once, feeling very lost, I decided my chakras must be out of line

It's why I can’t see dizzying shapes or geometric patterns of love

So, burning a stick of sage, I frolicked around like an elf in the woods

Pushing out any thoughts of madness or insanity, I can be a yogi, too

Yoga was the answer for me, but I could never fully assimilate

Because, as it turned out, my ass couldn’t fit into those tight pants

And my brain was antagonized and called a Monkey Mind by

Zenned-out blondes in very tight pants who said I should read less

And occasionally I found a lot of joy in stuffing a juicy cheeseburger

Into my big-ass mouth and saying things like

Osho made yoga a cult ya know?

Needless to say, we decided we might be better off without each other

Now I’m concentrating my efforts on a new endeavor:

Dive Bar Trivia