The Woman in the Mirror

by Grace Hickey


Last night
I smashed
the patriarchy
out of my mirror
broke it into a
million pieces
so that it can no longer
project lies
unto my being
                                                 
I allowed the shards
 to make my hands bleed
                                                         

                                                            watched
in spite
                                                            of myself
                                                            as my humanity
                                                            spilled out all over the place

I wrote
a new narrative
with it






one they will probably call
radical
scrawled it down on a piece of paper
recited it to every being I know
shouted it to my ancestors
                                                                         I wanted to remember
                                                                         the person
                                                                         I was before
                                                                         I mistook
their expectations
                                                                          and longings
                                                                          
for my own



wish I could crawl in
and go looking
for that young child
bring her back
to what she always knew
to be
true
                   

               there
                        is
                              a
                                 little
                                         girl
                                                in
                                       there
                                       somewhere
 

longing for validation
       only I can give to her
        if only she could
                                                see
                                                       me
                                                               now

                                                                                       
shattering stereotypes
with my existence
using my words to speak truth
my heart to heal
my mind to make art
and most days I am too focused
on making the world beautiful
to even care
if the world is looking at me
any sort of way
that shit is irrelevant to me now
                                                                                           until the internalized misogyny
                                                                                           creeps into the hollows of my brain
                                                                                           sets up camp
                                                                                           in the place I used to live
                                                                                           but these days
                                                                                           only visit
                                                                                           now and again
                                                                                           


each time I return
she is always there waiting for me
filled with empathy
and compassion
for only she knows
what I have
unlearned
dismantled
and rebuilt




                                                                                          to be able to look at my reflection
                                                                                          and see the mosaic
                                                                                          that is she
                                                                                          in all of her complexity
                                                                                          and multidimensionality
                                                                                          someone I love so deeply
                                                                                                       

the woman in the mirror.

* * * * *

Grace Hickey (she/her) is an emerging writer from Fredericton, New Brunswick, located on the unceded territory of the Wolastoqiyik, Mi’kmaq and Peskotomuhkati peoples. She is currently a fourth-year student at St. Thomas University in the Bachelor of Arts Program. Grace loves to be creative and has always enjoyed expressing herself through her writing as it helps her connect to her truth. You can follow her work on Instagram @graceelizabethhickey.