God’s Waiting Room

by Catherine Arra

When I retire and move to Florida

I’m going to float on two neon pool tubes, visor in place,

towel securely clipped to lounge.

I’ll say,

Hey, whatta ‘bout those poor slobs up there in New York

& Jersey buried up to their asses, 4 degrees—

Geez almighty, do we have the life or what?

I’m going to set the weather app

to Chicago, Detroit, Buffalo. Ha!

I’m going to sniff out early bird specials

and say,

Whatta meal, I have to tell ya. That cup of soup, I mean,

more like a bowl

or you can get a nice salad, always fresh an’

a choice of entrée with three sides, not the usual two,

dessert, coffee …

oh, an’ yeah, a drink, yeah, a real bar drink

an’ all for 9.99. 

You believe it? Was outta this world, let me tell ya,

an’ I’m tellin’ ya, that steak, it just melted in my mouth

an’ the wife

she had the tilapia—nice an’ fresh, she said, grilled just so

not all dried out.

When I retire and move to Florida

I’m going to have it my way.

Whatta life, I’m tellin’ ya.

Worked 40 stinkin’ years for this.

Nah, an’ I ain’t gonna notice your little baby lizard

sunnin’ on the terrace

an’ I didn’t feel bad when I took off the end of its tail—

I mean, what the hell—it was an accident.

An’ I don’t give a frig about that bird noise,

oh excuse me … songs.

Just close the damn door.

Whatta ya always talkin’ at me about the sun risin’ an’ fallin’

makin’ the edges of livin’ an dyin’?

For Chrissake, go write a poem or somethin’.

Me, I’ll just wait here for the old reaper, enjoyin’ myself,

an’ when the bastard shows up, I ain’t gonna give him

the right time of day neither.

* * * * *

"God's Waiting Room" was originally published in Scarlet Leaf Review and is part of Catherine Arra's poetry collection (Women in Parentheses) (Kelsay Books, 2019)

Catherine Arra is the author of (Women in Parentheses) (Kelsay Books, 2019), Writing in the Ether (Dos Madres Press, 2018), and four chapbooks, the latest being Her Landscape, Poems Based on the Life of Mileva Marić Einstein (Finishing Line Press, 2020). Her poetry and prose have appeared in numerous journals online and in print, and in several anthologies. Arra is a native of the Hudson Valley in upstate New York, where she teaches part-time and facilitates local writing groups. Find her at www.catherinearra.com