I Am a Brown Girl

by Anindita Sarkar

You shall never know

about a life under vigilance,

bereft of any thrill

stuffed with cascades of compliance,

vaselined lips sealed

under the authority of conservativeness,

the cocoons of curiosity

are butchered by the parents

through their dim responses.

The gaze of towering men

often slices my hijab

as I clasp my cleavage

under a blanket of cloaks.

I anticipated an escape

re-etching my flight

in the dead-quiet of the night

I was jolted by a withdrawal.

I feel like an unappeased spirit

searching for myself

in fictional characters and

catalogues or magazines.

Maybe in another life

I will be reborn as one of the girls wearing lipstick

brazenly sporting in half-naked tunics,

unaware of their downplay,

the column of insecurities

concealed in their burgundy purse

and the litany of condolences

on the souvenirs of their ex-boyfriends

they bear as scars.

Not everything can be as easy as a nursery verse

it’s complex to unfurl the secrets of this collateral universe.

* * * * *

Anindita Sarkar is pursuing a MPhil degree in Comparative Literature from Jadavpur University. She is from Kolkata,India. She is also a UGC Junior Research Fellow.