Friday, 24 July 2020

I Am a Brown Girl

by Anindita Sarkar

You shall never know
about a life under vigilance,
bereft of any thrill
stuffed with cascades of compliance,
vaselined lips sealed
under the authority of conservativeness,
the cocoons of curiosity
are butchered by the parents
through their dim responses.
The gaze of towering men
often slices my hijab
as I clasp my cleavage
under a blanket of cloaks.
I anticipated an escape
re-etching my flight
in the dead-quiet of the night
I was jolted by a withdrawal.
I feel like an unappeased spirit
searching for myself
in fictional characters and
catalogues or magazines.
Maybe in another life
I will be reborn as one of the girls wearing lipstick
brazenly sporting in half-naked tunics,
unaware of their downplay,
the column of insecurities
concealed in their burgundy purse
and the litany of condolences
on the souvenirs of their ex-boyfriends
they bear as scars.
Not everything can be as easy as a nursery verse
it’s complex to unfurl the secrets of this collateral universe.

* * * * *

Anindita Sarkar is pursuing a MPhil degree in Comparative Literature from Jadavpur University. She is from Kolkata,India. She is also a UGC Junior Research Fellow. 

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