Saturday, 19 November 2016

JESUS                                                                       by Amy Ballard Rich


needed a better publicist,
as he is constantly being misquoted
to the point of slander

Had I been alive back then
I could have rocked
that publicist job,
fiercely protecting his beautiful message
of love, forgiveness, mercy, and compassion

Yes, had he been in charge of hiring,
he might have hired me,
or another woman,
since it was his apostle Paul
who was the misogynist,
not Jesus

I presume Jesus
was busy healing the sick
and cheering up
multitudes of people,
all around the world,
and trusted those close to him,
back then,
which ended being a big mistake

Because, sadly, he was misquoted
back then by some of his followers, 
and has been misquoted for 2016 years
Even more sadly, many have blamed him
for the insanity of some of his followers

If he were alive today,
with the benefit of social media,
he would set the record straight

My guess is he would live very simply,
volunteer at the needle exchange,
food banks, homeless shelters,
and free clinics

He most likely would be bisexual,
and perhaps gender-fluid,
as our Creator
may very well would have wanted him
to understand discrimination first-hand

Not to mention
he obviously was a dark-skinned man,
who was sadly
white-washed by the church

As he traveled to Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist countries,
perhaps with Doctors Without Borders,
no doubt he would
attend whatever religious services
he was invited to,
especially if they involved music and feasting

No matter where he went,
he would show kindness and love,
would be honest and fair,
and would be very  popular

Since way back then,
he was friends with Mary Magdalene,
I would not be surprised
if nowadays he would frequent brothels
a few times a month

Of course,
he would choose the brothels
where the sex workers
had a worker collective,
and were self-governing

No doubt he would
always practice safe sex,
generously tip the sex workers,
and not even pick a “favorite”,
lest any would feel left out

They would see Jesus coming
as they leaned out the brothel window,
and declare,
“Hallelujah!  Jesus is coming,
JESUS IS COMING!”