Trial Separation

by Hayley Mitchell Haugen

 
For two nights, the month before
he moves out the last of his essentials,
 
I practice being alone/all one, finally,
in my lonesomeness/my oneness. I breathe in
 
the absence of him and do not sense
the widow’s loss, the jilted lover’s
 
embarrassment. In this space
I am a green thing waiting to become,
 
ready to unfurl myself/my self
into this new life. And yet
 
practicalities/this practice reminds
me of who I am now.
 
I think of what I should tell
my children––and haven’t––
 
of all I should be feeling––
but don’t.


* * * * *

Hayley Mitchell Haugen is a Professor of English at Ohio University Southern. Light & Shadow, Shadow & Light from Main Street Rag (2018) is her first full-length poetry collection, and her chapbook, What the Grimm Girl Looks Forward To is from Finishing Line Press (2016). Her latest chapbook, The Blue Wife Poems, is available from Kelsay Books (September 2022). She edits Sheila-Na-Gig online and Sheila-Na-Gig Editions.