Mother’s Milk

by LJ Hughes


Breasts engorged with mother’s milk, 
awaiting baby’s latch.
That first meeting of skin to skin,
exchanging pheromonal bonds,
forging between us a lifetime connection.

I prepared for this, I thought.
Read all the books, took the birthing classes,
rubbed my nipples with a towel to “toughen them.”
Women, after all, have been made for this, they said.

But was I prepared for that sweet baby face,
those fluttering lashes, baby’s breath and soft sighs,
that slackened mouth dribbling milk
and tugging at my heart?

So many nights of losing track of time,
up every few hours to nourish a squalling babe,
interrupted sleep with fettered dreams,
and somehow functioning for another day.

I wasn’t told about the loneliness of this,
about the cracked and bleeding breasts,
about the colostrum for lost babies,
nor the screaming child who couldn’t latch.

I didn’t know about the anger I would have
towards a partner who didn’t do enough,
or about feeling insufficient as a mother
for failing to manage it all.

How could I have prepared for returning to work too soon,
for the wrenching separation from this tiny soul,
for hand pumping breast milk while on break
in the stairwell or bathroom stall?

Yet I persisted, as women have before me,
to feed my offspring in my arms,
to gift us with the bonding snuggles
while baby’s at the breast.


* * * * *

LJ Hughes is a former Nurse Practitioner living in coastal Oregon where she writes poetry and is a member of her local Florence Poetry Society. LJ has been interviewed by radio station KXCR where she read several of her poems on air. In the fall 2021 Oregon Poetry Association contest she won 1st Honorable Mention in the Members Only category with her poem “Perspectives”. She is known for her love of the outdoors and involvement in social justice issues—both of which are often reflected in her poetry.