Bess’s Lament*

by Jan Zlotnik Schmidt


I didn’t know he was a magic man, a shape-shifter. When I met him, he was Erich, trapeze artist, diminutive Jew. I knew he liked strudel, stuffed cabbage, his mother’s babka. He held me with his bird fingers—cupping my chin—teasing me with his flashing eyes. I dreamt he was small enough to fit in my pocket. Fold him up in quarters like a white handkerchief, to keep him near. 

In the beginning, I was his magic girl. Swish. I hear it still. The whoosh of the black cloth over the box. The infinite darkness just for a moment. Stepping out, I smiled. Released from danger. Never scared. Never scarred.

Then he became Houdini. The only trace of our act together, the way he twined and untwined my curls at night. I had my own disappearing act. He dazzled, unlocked manacles, handcuffs, climbed out of milk cans, trunks, coffins. My upside-down man unleashed himself from a straitjacket in midair as I held my breath.

I wanted to always be his gamin girl, to keep a small flame for him, before and even after death. Do ghosts have breath?

In my old age I became what I always was. A forsaken angel with wings of stone.


* * * * *

*Bess Houdini was the wife of magician and escape artist, Harry Houdini.

"Bess's Lament" is part of Jan Zlotnik Schmidt's collection Over the Moon Gone: The Vanishing Act of Bess Houdini (Palooka Press, 2021).

Jan Zlotnik Schmidt is a retired SUNY Distinguished Teaching Professor in the Department of English SUNY New Paltz. She has published works in Alaska Quarterly Review, Kansas Quarterly, The Cream City Review, The Vassar Review, and other journals. Two volumes of poetry were published by the Edwin Mellen Press: We Speak in Tongues and She had this memory. Her poetry volume, Foraging for Light, was published by Finishing Line Press. Most recently her poetry chapbook about Bess Houdini was published by Palooka Press. Her poetry has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Check out her work at hudsonvalleywomenwriters.com.