How I Learned to Cook
by Susan Tepper
1 cup long hair
tsp of tea (British blend)
3 generous strips silk ribbon
Salt and pepper to taste
Set the table in advance using a nice cloth.
Put out your best white candles.
Blanch cloves in a saucepan on slow heat.
Drain the cloves.
Take a bath in scented clove water then shower for double cleanliness.
Rinse your hair with the fresh squeezed lemon.
Slice off enough hair to fill a porcelain cup
add a teaspoon of tea
and place on the dresser to cool.
Wind strips of silk ribbon around yourself fashionably.
Salt and pepper to taste.
Sift the loneliness.
Using the wire whisk, beat the adultery with 2 eggs.
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More about Susan Tepper and her widely published work can be found at.