Friday 21 October 2016

Memorial – An Ode To My Soulmate

by Sheena Singh

I was told that she showed all signs of acute schizophrenia. The doctor whom she consulted declared her mentally unfit. He convinced her dear ones that she was living in an imaginary world far from reality. According to him, all her whims and fantasies grew within her mind creating delusional image of imaginary characters. Some of them were her stalkers, some her enemies and the rest consisted of people who wanted to use her. I couldn’t fathom why people declared her a nervous wreck while she was always in her high alert mode. She was excellent in time management, extremely proactive and highly sensitive to other people’s needs. Her biggest weakness was that she used to put herself in other person’s shoes before taking any decision. Most of her decisions were based on how she empathized to a situation. Knowing her fully, it was a pain to see the state of her present condition. Chained by her leg to a window in the corner room, clumsy clothes and dried up hair, she’s become an epitome of in-sensitiveness and clandestine behaviors of her so called “well-wishers”. Last month as I entered her room, her sparkling eyes and hearty smile showed that she was still in her senses... Why was she put behind the closed shady doors... In that stinking corner… Left alone to dry and die. I would attribute her highly sensitive nature and emotional behavior for being labeled as a psycho.

Does that mean a person who values every relationship and emotion end up getting cornered as a schizophrenic?

She had a wrong choice of men in her life. Right from an extremely selfish partner to a crook who dejected her for greener pastures. She couldn’t figure out who loved her, she trusted each one of them. Every time she stretched herself to make them happy, she was termed an addict. Repeated rejections cornered her, pushing her to the wall. She was left with no choice but cling on to those heartless demons who behaved as per their convenience and treated her as time pass. Constant rejections made her a nervous wreck. She was no more the fiercely independent female who managed her life brilliantly. Her mind was torn in to pieces which could never regain her lost self. She pleaded for forgiveness for reasons not known to accept her back but all her cries fell on deaf ears. Everyone was too busy to accommodate her in their thoughts.

Today I woke up with the sound of telephone ringing. The voice at the other end shared the news of her death last night. On enquiring further, I was told that she died peacefully in her sleep. The attendant who opened the door of her room found her sleeping unusually late and that’s when the alarm was raised.

I decided not to pay a visit to the hospital. 

For me she still lives as a bubbly vivacious confident female whom others idolized. She is incomparable. She lives in me…she lives through me...and I want her to live my thoughts…

R.I.P young lady…

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