I Am From

by Michelle Fulkerson


I am from photography, 
from lilac coated memories, sickly sweet
as donuts shared on Sunday mornings.
I am from hospitals, 
from breathing tubes, CAT scans and ER trips,
swamped by a grief that collects 
and collapses my soul under a blanket of fog
and miscounted calories.

I am from a prayer that
whispers softly in the darkest night,
“Please Lord, don't take this one away.”
I am from friends formed in ICU units
and the smell of mango shampoo,
from late night Skype sessions 
and we’ll meet one day texts, 
from chicken noodle soup and a vomit-soaked toilet bowl. 

I am from stargazing on rooftops and
vinyl records scattered across the floor,
from movie quotes, podcasts, books started at the age of five. 
I'm from love shown in words unspoken,
hugs and lullabies sung by Mom at my bedside,
from Fall Out Boy all the way to Tchaikovsky; 
this is the music I was raised on. 

I was fed a bright mind:
literature, history, geometry, algebra, chemistry,
notebooks ripped at the seams, 
as dead pens lay at my feet. 
I'm from hard work and determination, 
from a violent storm that still can't drown my spirit.
This is my culture.


* * * * *

"I Am From" is the title poem of Michelle Fulkerson's collection I Am from Stargazing on Rooftops, edited posthumously by her mother, Julie Fulkerson (Cerasus Poetry, July 2022).

Michelle Fulkerson fought her way into the world at just 23 weeks gestation. Against the odds, she survived and thrived. Michelle loved reading, writing and music. She began writing poetry and short stories at age 12. Around that same time, Michelle began struggling with anorexia, anxiety, and depression. She kept a journal where she wrote with poignant honesty regarding her mental health struggles. Michelle wrote up until her suicide, just 4 months shy of her 18^th birthday.