Rain

by Michelle Fulkerson


I need to hide to drown my sorrow
to not feel obligated to stay a secret in the darkness
to blanket my self-inflicted pain in the thunder 
and stifle my screams in the lightning that is to set me on fire
I need it to rain…

I need to scream to cry to shout to rage in the thunder
I need not to feel this overpowering weight on my shoulders
I need to release this heavy heart and to feel the rain pierce my skin
I need it to rain…

I yearn to skip with a light heart in the raindrops
and frolic in the puddles 
and dance in the dew 
I yearn to splash and squeal with a light heart 
instead of a heavy one
I need it to rain…

I long to feel the rain on my skin
to calm me from my attacks
wash away my fears 
and whisk away my sadness
I need it to rain...

I need it to rain to drown out
my insecurities
to drown myself in the pain
I need it to rain...


* * * * *

Editor's note: Following Michelle’s death, her mother and editor, Julie Fulkerson, discovered that Michelle had begun compiling her poems into a book, which she titled, “Through Adversity to the Stars.”  She completed the book Michelle started, searching through her journals and her google drive for additional poems, reflections, and short stories. She hopes to one day publish Michelle’s book.

Michelle Fulkerson fought her way into the world at just 23 weeks gestation. Against the odds, she survived and thrived. Michelle loved reading, writing and music. She began writing poetry and short stories at age 12. Around that same time, Michelle began struggling with anorexia, anxiety, and depression. She kept a journal where she wrote with poignant honesty regarding her mental health struggles. Michelle wrote up until her death, just 4 months shy of her 18^th birthday.