True Story!

by Jo-Ann Newton

I’ve decided to be healthy

so I’ve gone and joined the gym.

I have been there twice already,

working hard on getting thin.

I’ve invested in a sport’s bra

and a Zumba DVD

so I reckon by September

you’ll all see a brand new me!

I have polished all my crystals

to promote my calmer state.

I have started doing yoga

and begun to meditate.

I’m aligning all my chakras

and I’ve smudged to Kingdom come;

I’ve refused all conversations

where my Zen might come undone.

Every New Year is a clean slate

and a chance to fix the past,

though the odds are stacked against us -

resolutions rarely last -

We’ll intend to make the changes

even for the shortest time,

then it’s back to stress and back to fags

and back to drinking wine!