My Mind Wanders in Shavasana

by Sara Backer

kayaking      my childhood summer lake    

view from the water reveals     screen-doors     small

private docks     folding aluminum chairs     adults

in pajamas     drinking coffee     or beer     as sunrise fades     

blue imbues a mackerel sky     less becomes more with the oar

my course     determined by loons

tailing the winch on my then-boyfriend’s sloop

short handle for fickle winds     the jib responds

like a hooked fish     a moment of tilt and speed

through the chop     salt lapping stern     toward

a bobbling turtle     trajectory of whale

double arc of dolphins

rowing synchronized with seven others

while coxswain commands     muscles pressured

in parallel sweep     our rhythm against the river’s 

my back to our goal     measuring progress

by furrows of wake

I assume the perspective of a hovering gull

my strained shoulders      now effortless wings

I look down to see the entire boat as if a leaf 

eight oars symmetrical veins     tipped with white

splash-dots    motion made motionless     the struggle of the race 

gone     why did I want to win?     the fastest flying is still

on my mottled blue mat     in a dim room

hands above my head     thumb touching thumb

one leg straight     one knee bent     I can’t tell if I am

right side up     or upside down  

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"My Mind Wanders in Shavasana"  is from Sara Backer's collection Such Luck (Flowstone Press, 2019).