Thursday, 7 February 2019

I’ll Try Anything, Once

by Gabby Schenkelberg

Once, feeling very lost, I decided my chakras must be out of line
It's why I can’t see dizzying shapes or geometric patterns of love
So, burning a stick of sage, I frolicked around like an elf in the woods
Pushing out any thoughts of madness or insanity, I can be a yogi, too
Yoga was the answer for me, but I could never fully assimilate
Because, as it turned out, my ass couldn’t fit into those tight pants
And my brain was antagonized and called a Monkey Mind by
Zenned-out blondes in very tight pants who said I should read less
And occasionally I found a lot of joy in stuffing a juicy cheeseburger
Into my big-ass mouth and saying things like
Osho made yoga a cult ya know?
Needless to say, we decided we might be better off without each other
Now I’m concentrating my efforts on a new endeavor:
Dive Bar Trivia

1 comment:

  1. I damned near dislocated a knee tying to get into the lotus position. That was my yoga comeuppance.