DYING YOUNG
by Alexis Rhone Fancher
Midnight, and again I’m chasing
sleep: its fresh-linen smell and
deep sinking, but when I close my eyes
I see
my son, closing his eyes. I’m afraid of that dream,
the tape looped demise as cancer
claims him.
My artist friend cancels her L.A.
trip. Unplugs the
internet. Reverts to source. If cancer
will not let go its grip then she will
return its embrace. Squeeze the life
out of
her life. Ride it for all it’s worth.
By the time his friends arrive at the
cabin
my son is exhausted, stays behind
while
the others set out on a hike. He picks
up the phone.
“Mom, it’s so quiet here. The air has never
been breathed before. It’s snowing.”
I put on Mozart. A warm robe. Make a
pot
of camomile tea. The view from my 8th
floor
window, spectacular, the sliver moon,
the stark,
neon-smeared buildings, their windows
dark.
Sometimes I think I am the only one
not sleeping.
My artist friend wants to draw the
rain. She
wants to paint her memories, wrap the
canvas
around her like a burial shroud.
Tonight, a girl in a yellow dress
stands below
my window, top lit by a street lamp,
her long shadow
spilling into the street. She’s waiting for someone.
I want to tell my friend I’ll miss her.
I want to tell my son I understand.
I want to tell the girl he won’t be coming.
That it’s nothing personal. He died young.
* * * * *
©Alexis Rhone Fancher. "Dying
Young" was first published in Broadzine, 2014.
Alexis Rhone
Fancher is the author of How
I Lost My Virginity to Michael Cohen and other
She is published in The Best
American Poetry 2016, Rattle, Slipstream, Hobart, Cleaver,
The
MacGuffin, Poetry East, Plume, Glass, and
elsewhere. Her photographs are published
worldwide, including the cover of Witness,
Heyday, and Nerve Cowboy, and
a spread in River
Styx. A multiple Pushcart Prize and Best of The Net
nominee, Alexis is poetry editor of Cultural
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