"Three weeks ago my son took his life." From today's offering, "What to Say" by Bonnie Buckley Maldonado.

What to Say

by Bonnie Buckley Maldonado

1998

Three weeks ago my son took his life.

I'm told it's time to get over it.

If I could stop seeing

his incredible blue eyes

and hearing his gentle voice,

it would help.

I know he will not step

into my kitchen again

to bring a gift

I would have chosen for myself.

We won't sit in the patio

so he can smoke

and I can tell him to stop.

"I didn't call you because

I didn't know what to say."

Say anything.

It might be wrong

but it tells me

you remember him,

that his life mattered.

"I couldn't stand

losing a child."

I think you could and would.

That is the way it works.

I will never get over it.

I will not read more books

on suicide.

What I would like to know

is when the pain ceases

feeling like a kitchen knife,

plunged into my heart.

* * * * *

Bonnie Buckley Maldonado, http://www.bonniebuckleymaldonado.com/, was the first poet laureate of Silver City, New Mexico. "What to Say" is from her book It's Only Raven Laughing.