by Jo-Ann Newton
I’ve decided to be healthy
so I’ve gone and joined the gym.
I have been there twice already,
working hard on getting thin.
I’ve invested in a sport’s bra
and a Zumba DVD
so I reckon by September
you’ll all see a brand new me!
I have polished all my crystals
to promote my calmer state.
I have started doing yoga
and begun to meditate.
I’m aligning all my chakras
and I’ve smudged to Kingdom come;
I’ve refused all conversations
where my Zen might come undone.
Every New Year is a clean slate
and a chance to fix the past,
though the odds are stacked against us -
resolutions rarely last -
We’ll intend to make the changes
even for the shortest time,
then it’s back to stress and back to fags
and back to drinking wine!