Tuesday, 27 September 2016

"Three weeks ago my son took his life." From today's offering, "What to Say" by Bonnie Buckley Maldonado.


What to Say

by Bonnie Buckley Maldonado

1998

Three weeks ago my son took his life.
I'm told it's time to get over it.
If I could stop seeing
his incredible blue eyes
and hearing his gentle voice,
it would help.

I know he will not step
into my kitchen again
to bring a gift
I would have chosen for myself.
We won't sit in the patio
so he can smoke
and I can tell him to stop.

"I didn't call you because
I didn't know what to say."
Say anything.
It might be wrong
but it tells me
you remember him,
that his life mattered.

"I couldn't stand
losing a child."
I think you could and would.
That is the way it works.

I will never get over it.
I will not read more books
on suicide.

What I would like to know
is when the pain ceases
feeling like a kitchen knife,
plunged into my heart.

* * * * *

Bonnie Buckley Maldonado, http://www.bonniebuckleymaldonado.com/, was the first poet laureate of Silver City, New Mexico. "What to Say" is from her book It's Only Raven Laughing.