i am all i have

by linda m. crate

all my life i have been waiting:

for the text that never comes,

and the friend that always

lets me down or cancels at the last minute,

for the chance to come that never comes;

but i'm done waiting

i am going to live my life

devoid of all their rules

shed myself of all these anxieties and insecurities

all these doubts i bottled deep inside—

yes, i have my flaws and my scars,

but i am also beautiful;

there is a beauty, a magic, a power in me

for being me that is mine and mine alone

i will not surrender my divinity or my voice

to anyone—

i am done waiting

going to plant myself into moments,

and bloom

because i deserve a better life than i gave myself

all those years ago when i was waiting

for my father to save me;

i had to learn that i had to save and love myself

because in the end i am all i have.